Best Inventions Ever

Top ten best inventions ever
This list is in no order and is not exhaustive. Feel free to post comments for suggestions for the list and maybe one day it will be the Top one thousand four hundred and seventy seven best inventions ever…

Chocolate Milk- The frothyness and thickness is unsurpassed in every area of beverage. I desire to shake the man’s hand who thought up to actually put Chocolate and Milk together. The best kind of course can only be found in dispensers at various establishments like Old Country Buffet and So-decks-HO. This syrup mix doesn’t cut it for me.

iPod- You mean I don’t have to carry all my cd’s ever again!!! I can play it in the car!!! It’s trendy?!!?!!? Yes folks all three are true making the iPod an easy yet justifiable reason to drop three hundred bones on something that is smaller than your own hand. Now the iPod photo is just out of hand. Who the crap wants to show people their pics on a 1 inch screen?? Who wants to look at that? How awkward would that be??? Stick to the insane amounts of music that only Ryan C. can fit on an iPod.

Sheetz- There are none in Maryland that I know of… They abound in Virginia and Pennsylvania. Sheetz is a magical place where one can fill their hungry mouths and gas tanks at a reasonable price. The MTO put Sheetz on this list. The familiar boop of the touch screen order monitors is missed greatly. Some favorite orders include the Buffalo Chicken sub which WILL rock you, and the Steak and cheese, and for breakfast the untimely spicy and salty sausage egg and pepperjack cheese schmuffin with horseradish sauce.

Piano- I don’t play it if that’s what you’re wondering. I play the stupid guitar…I hate it… I think that it is stupid. Anyway the piano is a great invention simply because is sounds good. Not cool or rockin…good. Good like friendship. The versatility of the Piano is its strength. The piano brings out many emotions. From the old time hymns to the guy on the internet who can play Mario Brothers and the Legend of Zelda songs (amazing). Overall nothing beats a good soulful ballad on the Piano when it is matched with a good voice. Officially the best musical instrument out there. I would give my right arm to be able to play well…wait a second!

Digital camera- Taking pictures without having to go the store and getting them developed!!! Keeping them on the camera to see right after you take the pictures!??!?!? Putting them on your computer!?!?!? Brilliant!! Now I can finally be creative with photography without feeling like a girl and saying… Hey can we go to Walmart so I can pick up my pictures??? Mine takes video too.

Toilet-Who wants piles of sewage lying around their house??? Enough said.

Electric guitar- Ranking number 2 overall on the best musical instrument list, the electric has made 20th century music all that it is. It can cover many genres from Jazz to rock setting the framework for great songs and Rockin bands. If you are listening to music right now odds are you are listening to an electric guitar. Its popularity put it on this list.

Internet- What is David Hasselhoffs shoe size??? To the internet!!! The boundless amount of information makes me want to throw up. Yet I have completed many of research papers with meaningless internet sites. You ever tried Goolging a movie star? It takes you to this website that gives you all the movies they have ever been in. Do Mel Gibson…astounding. Then click on that movie and find more movie stars!!! I hear you can start with any movie star and find your way to Kevin Bacon this way. You can shop, listen, learn, sell, talk, hunt and even carry a relationship on the internet. I think we have yet to see the true consequences of this invention. Also see the internet soon on the worst inventions list.

squeeze jelly/mayo/PB- No longer shall I have broken bread because of thick peanut butter, No more uneven jelly on MY sandwich. No MORE the unending time consuming hassle of picking up the dirty mayo knife, moving it in the direction of the dishwasher, opening the dishwasher, pulling out the bottom tray, flipping the knife to the agreeable end pertaining to the best fit for the utensil holder and then setting the mayo knife in between the upward facing steak knife and upward facing dirty wisp, pushing the tray back into the dishwasher, and finally closing the dishwasher. NO MORE OF THAT!!! Thank you squeeze mayo. Thank you.

Pillow- Who can sleep without one? That idea that our heads must rest a few inches propped up is a mind-boggling one. We all need pillows, whether they be down or cotton, our own hands or the rock you just found close by that creek you visited earlier today after becoming homeless pledging your life to poverty and celibacy on order to gain more knowledge about the universe. Sleeping in the woods using a rock for a pillow, you believe, will help you find yourself and make peace with God. In the end the rock still hurts your neck, you really miss your pillow and God is laughing at you wondering why you didn’t realize that pillows are on the best inventions ever list.